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Valentine Love


Valentines Eve, 13th February, sitting alone surrounded by a winters’ evening black blanket. I have beautiful oils burning, a blend of ylang ylang, jasmine, geranium; bergamot and coriander added just to stop me floating entirely up to heaven! My loveydovey stuff playlist on shuffle filling me with mushy feelings. Nat King Cole mixed with Pavorotti interjected with Ella Fitzgerald, The Ink Spots and even Ed Sheeran and Elvis Costello.

Today started with glimpses of winter sunshine planning the design and planting of a rose bed in my new garden. A sea mist rolling in from the North Sea has found me retreating indoors to my cosy haven, to dwell on my thoughts feelings, and all the gifts this powerful Full Moon Eclipse at the weekend has brought me.

Mother Teresa said “we cannot do great things in this world. We can only do little things with great love”.

So much of the media’s opportunity to sell us something around Valentines day, seems to have missed the point. Someone I spoke to yesterday said her boyfriend had ‘bought her the shoes she has been wanting for Valentines’. Where did the idea come from to use the 14 th February as an opportunity to expect to receive gifts? Having said that, I feel as though I am definitely on the receiving end of some extra spiritual gifts at the moment.

Whether its because I’m now maturing into my most glorious age, where I feel my heart transforming every day into an unending source of gentleness, caring, gratitude and grace, I’m not sure.

I feel as though the penny has finally dropped and I seem to understand now the confusion I felt in my younger years between sex and love. I dislike the idea that we are programmed to expect our partner to live up to an idealized vision of ‘completing us’, (even if you are Tom Cruise), or putting our relationships on a pedestal (where they just may fall off and break.)

So many wonderful partnerships have been trashed and broken because we haven’t lived up to our partners ideology and we’ve replaced an opportunity for love to blossom in forgiveness, instead of replacing it with hatred, anger and bitterness.

One of my teachers, Idili Lizcano of Alqvimia says ‘The sexuality of a woman is total; it involves her entire body, her mind and her soul in the very act of love. This totality transforms the capacity for love within each woman into a sacred energy.

A woman who loves becomes a goddess.’

Do we need to rely on a partner to enable us to make this transformation? Perhaps we need to love all of ourselves before we can expect anyone else to love us too! Being a Beauty Therapist, I’ve always been surrounded by the most beautiful of women. Women who treat people with caring and gentleness who for some reason cannot always see, or indeed care for themselves, relying on the comfort of negative thoughts to feel safe and secure, preventing us all from fully engaging in love and honouring our own selves.

For many years, I have been a student of Tantra.

Despite all the innuendo and the urban myths surrounding the musician Sting, Tantra is primarily about uniting love and sexuality with awareness.

Tantra is about loving ourselves. It is also a celebration of the flow of loving sexuality between two people.

Tantra is recognizing that deepest, truest place in all whom we meet. It is a moment when we are totally absorbed in awe with the beauty of music, nature (and all her aromas) or even art. It is about truly loving and embracing all of life, and through this love remembering our essence, the divine within us and experiencing true bliss.

Once we have experienced this type of elevated expansion, we cannot help but experience life more fully and joyfully.

Instead of the new shoes, the flowers or the chocolates, an evening of quiet introspection, bathing in Nature’s powerful aromas, self massage and maybe a spot of yoga may be on the cards!

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